Taking Back Ely Buendia

To my brothers, should you ever have your hearts broken.

I don’t remember where I read it, and apparently, neither does Google, but someone once wrote that ‘…the young person in love is the saddest person in the world.’ Perhaps so, and the young person who suffers from an unrequited love, or has fallen out of love, or who has been left behind is the saddest of the lot. Hurt hits even the best of us; it spares not the intelligent, the rational, the sheltered, the good. And even though you know that there are bigger problems in the world, yours hit harder for the fact that they are yours, and for the fact that you are young.

Here’s the cliché: it gets better. The catch is, there is no prescription as to how long it takes, or what the best method is. There is no hard and fast rule. Often, it is more hard than it is fast. People do not get better at the same time. Some take five months, others five years. But for almost everyone that I have talked to, it does. You grow older; once heightened emotions are tempered by experience, maturity, and hindsight. Some memories will remain sad and hurtful, but they won’t have the same power over you as they did before.

One day you’ll wake up and surprise yourself that it wasn’t the first thought you had. Then it won’t be the last thought you have before going to sleep. Where once it took every ounce of effort to muster interest in something — or in anything, for that matter — one day it will take very little for you to laugh. One day you can start listening to The Eraserheads, or whoever your harbinger of angst may be, without inviting yourself to a pity party of one. Someday you will sing along with Ely again, and loudly.

Take time to heal, as much as you need. Be thankful always, even for the least of the good things that come to you. If you make this a habit, a perspective shift is bound to happen. Know what the root of the problem was, and gradually resolve it. If you turn to quick fixes — alcohol, frenetic activity, or a rebound relationship — it will get better, then become worse quickly. Take time to heal. This is important.

If you ever have your hearts broken (and please try to break as few hearts as possible, my little rascals), believe that healing will come. I hope that day comes sooner than later, but if it hasn’t yet, then please know that you can come and talk to me. I will listen to you, love you more, and pray with you.


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