Here is my 2013 in numbers: 26 in books, 25 in films, 1 in residency training programs, 2 in family hospital admissions, 3 in national calamities, 2 in Better Story workshops, 3 in friends’ weddings (4 if you distinctly count the one where two friends got married to each other), at least 12 in blog entries, a whimpering 3 in sketches, 1 in passable sukiyaki attempts, and 5 in months of suspended happiness. Save for the last two weeks of December, it has been a relatively peaceful year personally, which I ought to remember and ought to be thankful for. Unfortunately, it’s been more stressful for some members of my family, and even more for the victims of the Zamboanga crisis, the earthquake in Bohol, and Yolanda. This I ought to consider, especially when I start wallowing and regressing.
When I started planning this year, I decided that my theme for 2013 was going to be roots before branches, the basic concept being that everything I do for the year ought to contribute towards establishing foundations in a certain aspect or skill set in my life (i.e. entering a residency program for medicine, finding an advocacy, reading and writing more frequently). I didn’t manage to check everything off my list, but I’m not beating myself up over that. I knew, even briefly, stability, and a happy place. I rediscovered that people can be good to you if you let them, and bad to you if you allow it. While I didn’t really do anything spectacular, I find myself liking the quiet accomplishments.
2014 will be different, busier, structured and erratic all at once, because on the second day of January, I’ll be a resident. As much as that will be a focus for the next three years, I hope that I will still remember to branch out in other areas, particularly in my faith, in my relationships with people, and in my writing. I hope that I will continue to grow, but faster and more meaningfully.
One of my friends recently tweeted a beautiful thought: ‘I am perhaps closer to my inner truths these days than I have ever been.’ I feel like that is true for me as well, although I am also now more aware of what I do not know. The difference is, I am more okay with not knowing immediately, so long as I keep on the path of finding out.
Have a blessed 2014.